One of the most popular marriage tips always centers around some sort of version of “date your spouse.” Married couples need to keep dating, keep putting in effort, and get that special one-on-one time to help rebuild their bond.
This is, of course, easier said than done for most married couples with kids. Jobs, schedules, homework, bath time, and an overall exhaustive day can leave parents totally drained with nothing left to give by the time night rolls around
TikTok creator and mom to four boys, Brooke Raybould, swears that there is one specific time of day that works best for dating your spouse, but you better be ready to wake up early AF.
“Here’s the most underrated time to spend quality time with your spouse,” she begins. “You guessed it, it’s 5 AM.”
Raybould explains in a voiceover that her husband, Ryan, wakes up around 4:45 in the morning while she sleeps until around 5 a.m. Once they’re both up and about, they talk and bond before their kids wake up. Raybould swears that this early riser date is the best method for married couples.
She continues, “I’m convinced that if you’re a parent, there’s no better time for high-quality time with your spouse than the early morning before your kids wake up. Date nights are nice, but they’re only once in a while. And regular nighttime quality time isn’t great for us because by the time our kids are down for sleep, we are exhausted.”
“On the other hand, the mornings are peaceful and quiet. We’re less likely to dump our stress from the day on to each other. And our brains are in a theta state, which means you’re likely calm, in a flow state, and more open to problem-solving. If you don’t believe me, I dare you to try a 5 a.m. morning date with your spouse.”
In the caption on Raybould’s video, she explains that her early-morning plans came from a book she read entitled The 5 AM Club by Robin Sharma. The book encourages more people to wake up early, claiming that being an early riser reduce stress, improve focus, and help with productivity.
“Pre-kids, Ryan and I focused our quality time together in the evenings and especially on the weekend. They were wide open. Then, as we had kids, we started a date night routine. While this was fun, sometimes it felt like it forced a babysitter (that we couldn’t afford), a big meal, and alcohol. Three things that, over time, didn’t suit us entirely well (we get tired at night!),” she explained in her caption before explaining that after kids, she and her husband prefer to go to bed early despite now being able to afford a fun night out.
“On later date nights, we found ourselves (at times) yearning to be home in bed with a good book. We’ve also phased out of drinking regularly, so the allure of a night out has somewhat changed. That said, I still see the importance of getting quality time with your significant other outside the home.”
Raybould’s TikTok followers were not sold on the idea with several commenting on the viral video.
“But… I don’t like anyone at 5am 🙈,” one user joked.
“Absolutely not, do not speak to me for the first two hours I’m awake,” another said.
Despite the nay-sayers, Raybould swears this idea is actually science-backed.
“… some of the BEST times we have connected is in the morning. The kids are still asleep and our brains are operating in that flowing theta state! Grab a cup of coffee or espresso, and it’s magic. I get it that this won’t be conducive to everyone. I would have laughed if you presented this idea to me as a new mom. But four kids in and ten years as a seasoned mom, this is just what works for us now. ♥️”
Theta brain waves flow while sleeping or dreaming, occurring right before falling asleep or just before waking up. These types of brain waves tend to relax the mind, helping to process information and making memories. So, maybe there is something to this whole waking up at the ass-crack of dawn thing.
Would you be willing to give it a try?