As parents, we’re in a unique position to guide our children through just about everything. One of the most important aspects of life we can help them understand is their emotional world. It’s a privilege, but it’s not always easy.
Some parents, however, make it look really easy — like TikTok creator Carmen Veal Conway (@carmenvealc) and her daughter Maddie. The pair recently demonstrated a textbook “Good Conversation/Life Lesson” in a recent video, and we strive to match this energy.
Conway and Maddie regularly post videos in which the two chat about life while Conway does her hair — honestly one of the ultimate girl experiences. (It can happen to people of any gender, of course, but it’s delivering powerful female energy that we all need to tap into from time to time.)
After taking some time to talk about how to deal with unkind people (“Continue to be a kind person and hopefully inspire other people to be kind, too”), the two spin into other topics. In her caption, Conway explains that, off camera, she mentioned being a little sad at work sometimes. Maddie, it turns out, had some sad moments at school.
Being a kid — and, clearly, an empathetic one —Maddie connected her sadness to her mom’s.
“Maybe I should not be sad at school so you don’t be a little sad at work!” she offered.
Conway’s response struck the perfect balance of grace and redirection.
“You’re not responsible for mommy’s feelings, OK?” Conway reassured her gently. “Just your own. It’s nice for you to be concerned about my feelings; I really appreciate that.”
“But I am!” Maddie countered. “I like being concerned because I like caring about you!”
Conway makes a suggestion about how they might both be able to deal with feelings of melancholy while they’re at work and school without encouraging Maddie to take on more responsibility than she needs to or should: “You know what we can do? We can try to be brave and happy together.”
“Okaaay,” Maddie replied with a happy little glint in her eye. “That’s a good idea!”
Soon, the hair-and-a-chat session is done. Maddie is delighted with her look (the flower hair clip adds a little je ne sais quoi) and we’re all left basking in the glow of a parenting job (and hairdo) well done.
“As a child therapist: I love that you say she’s not responsible for your feelings and then she says she feels like she wants to care for you and then you redirect instead of shutting her down,” replies one commenter. “I LOVE this!”
“Imagine a world full of adults who were raised like this,” muses another.
Truly, you just love to see it. Conversations like this don’t always happen every day, but the more we try to find moments to squeeze them in, the more they will happen on their own, and the more we can support our kids in making their way through a world that can be less kind than they are.
