The ‘We Listen and We Don’t Judge’ TikTok Trend, Explained

There’s another TikTok trend we need to unpack. “We Listen and We Don’t Judge” is the latest trend couples have found to make single people feel even better about deleting Bumble.

All over TikTok, couples are revealing things to each other under the guise of a judgement-free zone, hence the pre-admission chant, “We listen and we don’t judge.” But here’s the thing, judging people is the internet’s favorite pastime, and there isn’t a spell on earth that can make the comments section let these admissions fly unchecked.

Here’s everything you need to know about the “We Listen and We Don’t Judge” TikTok trend in the latest TL;DR.

Give me the TL;DR.

It’s pretty much what it says on the tin. Couples are granting each other permission to share presumably harmless admissions, like covering holes in the ceiling with birthday decorations, which typically escalates into pretty murky territory.

Seriously, since when did a marriage license give someone carte blanche to secretly administer things like Miralax and Tums to their partner—and why are multiple people sharing that information on the internet?

What does the internet think?

That a lot of these couples should split up—which, to be fair, tends to be the reaction to most things couples decide to share on the internet. In many cases, people are clocking the obvious tension building in some of these videos, as well as the “diabolical” behavior in others.

“May this love never find me,” is a comment you’ll see under a bunch of these TikToks.

Is there a bigger picture here?

With this particular trend, a few come to mind. You probably won’t be surprised that many men are admitting to “clever” ways to avoid domestic and emotional labor. “Sometimes I go in the bathroom and hide and pretend to go to the bathroom when I hear the chaos in the house just so you have to handle it and not me,” one husband shared in a particularly tense TikTok posted by @daveandjanie.

While the account claims to depict “relatable married life,” the use of the “🫠” emoji in their bio suggests this dynamic could be a part of a schtick.

“We listen and we get divorced,” one user replied to the video, while another wrote, “He really loves to avoid you and the kids eh lol.”