This woman is wondering if she’s in the wrong for expressing hurt toward her husband after he ate her entire birthday dessert. In the famous “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit thread, she explained the entire situation where she got some great feedback.
“I’ve had a hell of a week. Crazy, stress at work. My birthday was this week. It was a few days after my work’s biggest fundraiser of the year. So very stressful,” she begins before explaining that she had a work meeting on her birthday where they surprised her with specialty cupcakes. She ended up leaving the event with three extra.
“As I walked in the door, my husband was putting candles on a cake he got me. It was a cheap grocery store cake. He clearly didn’t plan ahead and bought one already prepared and had them put my name on it. Whatever,” she explained, clearly let down by his half-assed effort.
She ended up sharing the grocery store cake with her kids later, noting that it tasted like crap and admitted that to her husband.
“24 hours later. I get home from work today, was looking forward to a specialty cupcake. They were gone. He ate all 3 within 24 hours. Didn’t leave me any. When I told him that made me mad. He said I didn’t tell him what cake I wanted. He did not ask me – but as a mother, why must I plan everything. Even for my own birthday?! Ugh,” she wrote.
“AITAH for being hurt and disappointed and telling him?!”
Several Reddit users provided peace for the OP, assuring her that she has every right to be pissed.
“NTA. It’s as thoughtless as you think it is. It’s interesting that he ate the cupcakes but not the leftover cake. I understand him maybe eating 1 of the cupcakes but all 3 of them? I’d be pissed too,” one user said.
Another theorized, “It almost feels spiteful, tbh. Like was he punishing her for not acting grateful enough for his crappy last minute cake? Even if he was just being thoughtless, though, this feels like a situation where a real come-to-Jesus conversation is needed. I can tell you I wouldn’t be doing shit for his next birthday, that’s for sure.”
In an update on the post, the OP shared some more details that followed CupcakeGate.
“He was mad at me last night about me being mad. Frustrating. But I stood my ground. This morning he has apologized several times and bought me four of the exact cupcakes he ate. Telling me they are ALL mine. In fact I just ate one!” she wrote.
“He did have a card for me and some small, lovely gifts for me with the cake – the day of my bday. He told me at that time he ordered something else for me and rushed the shipping. It’s supposed to arrive today. I have no idea what it is, but I’ve learned not to have any kind of expectation. Though he told me it’s very nice. Thanks for confirming I’m NTA.”
OK, so he kind of redeemed himself, but it’s not really about the cupcakes, right? This is so very layered. It’s about consideration and thoughtfulness, and care. It’s about your f*cking life partner truly not giving one iota of thought into how you’d feel about something. He needs to replace the cupcakes, get her a nice gift, and do the mental labor to make this right and be a more considerate partner.
Read the entire AITA thread here.